It’s your own fault chaps, you wanted warm weather.

Starter’s Blog (Tales from where the hut used to be)

Yes, you there with the suntan, you asked for it to be ‘a bit warmer’ didn’t you?  Well your wish has been granted with bells on.  At this rate we will be holding the Gobi Desert Challenge Cup in a couple of weeks.  To be honest, it’s a wee bit too warm, the fairways are like lightning, leaving many players scratching their heads (and various other parts of their body) wondering what club to use and generally speaking choosing the wrong ‘un.  It’s almost like playing winter golf with frozen fairways, but with not so many clothes. This was made quite evident during the Saturday medal at the end of June, when ‘Nil Return’ was an extremely popular score.  I can’t remember when there have ever been so many.  Driving round the back nine during the round to check on pace of play (which I shall be doing on a regular basis for the rest of the season) was, in polite terms, quite interesting, with virtually every group searching for balls in the rough (more about that when I interview the boss when he gets back from his holibobs).  The Club Championship is something I will be looking forward to with interest if we don’t get any rain, in fact, I don’t think I’ve been so excited since her indoors got a new nightie.  However, scores are out there to be had, as shown during the Captain’s Dinner Cup, when two players who will remain nameless, but you all know who I mean, ran away with the competition with an incredible 51 points, which included a fantastic 27 points on the back nine.  Both players were on good form, but the secret of their success was really due to them gelling together as a team, scoring at the right time.  Hats off time from me.

I did report in the last blog that a certain player, who again will remain nameless (but it was Cameron Murry) omitted to put 50p in the charity bucket after dumping his drive into the bunker from the first tee.  I’m pleased to report that he has now corrected this error and paid up, but in my opinion could still do with a good slap and be sent to bed early with no supper.  I’m also pleased to report that the bucket is now showing signs of weight gain, not always due to errant tee shots, but the generosity of everyone who has donated.  It’s a great charity we are supporting this year and every little will help.  As an additional plea, it would be fantastic if both main club and senior members could possibly find an odd bottle of wine or other item to donate for raffle prizes on charity day.  Anyone donating an item can rest assured that they will not be in receipt of their normal insults on the first tee, but will be greeted instead with kind words and encouragement.  Everyone else will suffer badly.

Charity Day is fast approaching, when I look forward to having a microphone to announce everyone on the tee.  Honestly, I promise to behave this year.  The hole in one insurance for the 6th hole, kindly sponsored by the Senior Section is now in place.  The pin will be accessible, we really do want someone to win.  Two Senior Committee members will be at the hole, One at the green to admire your attempts and to jump up and down with glee if someone actually does it and one on the tee to take your entry fee (Entry is £5, which will go to charity, but is a small price to pay for the chance to win £5,000 worth of golf equipment).  The prize will consist of irons, fairway woods, rescue clubs, wedges and putter, all of your choice and fitted to your specification, top of the range trolley and bag, shoes, clothing and everything else to the value of five thousand pounds – plus in addition to this, your bar bill will be covered for up to £200.  Obviously, there are plenty of other prizes to be won and the popular raffle and auction during the evening shenanigans,  If you haven’t entered a team yet, don’t leave it too late, it should be a fantastic day and evening as usual.

There is obviously a lot happening at this time of the year apart from Charity Day, with the IAC Cup and the rescheduled Captain’s day to name but two, handicaps are changing on a regular basis as the annual bandits get found out, and those less fortunate (you can include me in this) who are not quite finding their game get shots back.  But even on a bad day, there is always that one shot, that one little glimmer of a golfer somewhere inside that brings us back to suffer again.  And believe me, I’ve suffered, but it beats shopping and having to talk to her indoors.

That’s it for now, there will be more later in the month, plus the interview with Steve Norton when I will be putting your questions to him.  I have a list already from several members, but any other points or questions would be welcome, it should be interesting reading.